There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
