Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
