Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
