Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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