He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It's shark week go big or go home
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
