Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
