Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
