I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
