i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
