At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
