You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
