yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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