she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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