i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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