it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
