he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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