Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
