We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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