Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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