I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
