I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my shit smells like andre
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
