Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
