So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
