you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We have started to decorate penises.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
