Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
