i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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