i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
