white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I need a beard to bite.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
