yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
