My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Rumble strips road head = magical
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
