do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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