I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
