A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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