Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
