I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
