Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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