Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Hippo gnu deer
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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