let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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