Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
