lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
