Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
