clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
