my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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