you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
