he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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