they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
