im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
