I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
