Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
