small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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