White coat. Heels.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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