I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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