I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
